My Google Page Rank

Survival tips for the broken-hearted


When the love of your life tells you that it’s over, and it feels like your world has come crashing down around you, what do you do?

Retreat to your room with a box of tissues and several pints of ice cream? Start sorting through all your photos together, deleting them from your cell phone, hard drive, camera, USB... why are there so many photos of both of you all of a sudden?!

Then there’s the change of status on Facebook and all the text messages and private messages asking if you’re okay.

How are you going to stay sane throughout all this?

1. Know that it takes two

You’re grateful for the support of your family and friends, but the worst thing that happens after you are dumped is your self-esteem takes a nosedive. You start wondering where you went wrong, why you weren’t enough to keep him, and what he was looking for that you couldn’t give him.

Former guidance counselor Nympha Banzon says you shouldn’t blame yourself. “Always realize that a relationship involves two different individuals,” she says. “You should be asking yourself, ‘Where did we go wrong?’ Never put the blame on one person. Remember, it takes two to make a relationship work.”

2. Get to the bottom of things

If your ex wasn’t a jerk about the breakup and is still willing to be friends, Banzon says you can ask him to help you realize where both of you went wrong. Learn from the mistakes of your relationship. Talk to him calmly, after all the tears have been shed, when you’re feeling stronger and not so vulnerable anymore.

But if it was a bad breakup, then maybe you should skip this part and move on to the next suggestion.
3. Work on yourself

It will be impossible not to dwell on your breakup and what your ex could be doing at every possible moment, but if you force yourself to shift focus, you may be able to get over this sooner.

“Take this time to assess yourself and how you can best improve yourself,” says Banzon.

If you were able to talk to your ex and reach some conclusions about why your relationship suffered, Banzon says you can then work on your weaknesses. But if you didn’t, then make a list of what you want to improve in your life—and finding another boyfriend should not be on it yet (beware the rebound relationship!). Take a class, volunteer for a good cause, start a small business. Get out there and get busy!

4. Move on the right way

This is a choice you have to make for yourself, says Banzon. First of all, you need to be willing and ready to let go of your ex, your relationship, and being someone’s girlfriend.

“Moving on is when you tell yourself, ‘Enough is enough,’” she says. “But it doesn't happen overnight. It’s a process.”

What it all boils down to is choosing to love yourself despite everything that’s happened. Even if you made a fool of yourself, stalked your ex (and not just on Facebook), and turned all your friends away because all you could talk about was your broken heart, there is still hope. Once you have made the decision to focus on and love yourself, you’ll notice that your disastrous relationship is something you could actually live with and leave in the past.  

“Do not get stuck with the pain and the bitterness,” adds Banzon. Do not stay angry at your ex and believe that it means you have moved on. It doesn’t. “It can destroy you even more,” she says.

What you need to realize is, “Ako naman: two simple but powerful words that express that you want to love yourself this time while you still can and are able to.” 

By Olivia Yao

Related news items:
Newer news items:
Older news items:

Add comment

Security code

Medical scholarship bill pass 2nd reading in Congress

21 Oct 2017 Hits:55 Be the first to comment!

The House of Representatives, through viva voce voting, recently approved on second reading, House Bill 6571 which seeks to establish a medical scholarship program to address the shortage of doctors in the country. Rep. Celso L. Lobregat, one of the authors of the measure, said the bill seeks to provide the institutional mechanism for the envisioned sustained human resource development of the Philippine public health care system. Lobregat said the government has acknowledged the reality that indeed, the country is facing an alarming shortage of medical doctors and other medical professionals. The solon said medical courses in the country are too costly that it has become beyond the reach of Filipino families, even to those belonging in the higher middle income class. “To make [...] Read more

Prev Next Page:

WestMinCom sends-off 1IB troops after liberation of Marawi

21 Oct 2017 Hits:62 Be the first to comment!

Army soldiers from the 1st Infantry Battalion (1IB) deployed to Marawi City to reinforce the soldiers there during the earlier stage of fighting are set to return to Luzon islands [...] Read more


21 Oct 2017 Hits:38 Be the first to comment!

Este el Zamboanga Bowlers Association, Inc. que ya organiza el Zamboanga Hermosa  2017 , El Copa de Ciudad Triple Men & Ladies Open Invitational Bowling Tournament del Octubre 6-8, 2017 [...] Read more


20 Oct 2017 Hits:41 Be the first to comment!

·   OCT 21, 2017(Sat)  - 8:00 pm –BAROCCA  ALL       STARS –vs- BRT TIGERS At Golden Boys Gym - MARK BARROCA POST        FIESTA PILAR CELEBRATION ·  OCT 22, [...] Read more

19th Siargao National Surfing Cup Kicks

20 Oct 2017 Hits:53 Be the first to comment!

The first leg of the Philippine Surfing Championship Tour (PSCT), the 19th Siargao National Surfing Cup, kicked off yesterday with a total of 186 surfers from different regions in the [...] Read more


15 Oct 2017 Hits:114 Be the first to comment!

Del Octubre 6, 2017 ya hace el opening del La Hermosa Invitational Volleyball Tournament na Zamboanga Trade School . Este el primer torneo de volleyball ya hace na Ciudad de [...] Read more


14 Oct 2017 Hits:86 Be the first to comment!

Oct. 7-8 2017 UZ IHK Campus,  Veterans , Zamboanga City GIRLS/WOMEN 12 yrs old & below 1ST PLACE  - RAMOS, ROSE JEAN        Mampang WC 2ND PLACE - HIPOLITO, JEANETH      [...] Read more


08 Oct 2017 Hits:153 Be the first to comment!

Este si Abdulbasir Yasin Tamsilani, 50 años de edad , 5’11” el altor, residente de Campo Islam , Ciudad de Zamboanga. Su tata si Hji Tamsilani Mahamud . Su esposa [...] Read more


07 Oct 2017 Hits:141 Be the first to comment!

Este si Mark Salcedo Capuy, su palayao “Duduy”, 29 años de edad, 6 ft el altor, residente de Luyahan , Ciudad de Zamboanga . Su mayores si Almario Alejandro Capuy [...] Read more


01 Oct 2017 Hits:237 Be the first to comment!

Este el Resulta del  Private Schools of Zamboanga City Athletic Association (PSZCAA) swimming competition del September 9, 2017. El maga ganador del competition ay representa con el  PSZCAA na Triangular [...] Read more

DOST, NAST call for 2018 award nominations

30 Sep 2017 Hits:160 Be the first to comment!

The Department of Science and Technology (DOST) and The National Academy of Science and Technology (NAST) are actively searching for possible nominees for various DOST and NAST awards. NAST, the highest [...] Read more

WMSU researches intensify promotion of rubber production in Zambo Peninsula

29 Sep 2017 Hits:225 Be the first to comment!

The region’s economic growth created greater capacity for consumption for different sections of the population. This has stimulated the demand for various products especially agricultural products, thus, generating the need [...] Read more


29 Sep 2017 Hits:188 Be the first to comment!

Este el istoria del persona que ya contribui su talento y tiempo para na maga swimmers de Zamboanga . Este si Rene Sta Teresa, head coach de Aqua Force , [...] Read more

Religious leaders renew call for peace education amid Marawi crisis

28 Sep 2017 Hits:305 Be the first to comment!

Filipino Religious leaders who attended the annual peace gathering in Rome, have vowed to advance the spread of peace education in all educational institutions to reach a common understanding and [...] Read more


28 Sep 2017 Hits:173 Be the first to comment!

Este el nuevo officers del ZCASA (Zamboanga City Amateur swimming Association) del September 15, 2017, President- Rustum Villanueva, Vice President- Dr. Omar Aranan jr, Secretary- Sherry Pengson, Treasurer- Kharen Bandolis [...] Read more

1,300 personnel to secure Zamboanga Hermosa Festival

27 Sep 2017 Hits:201 Be the first to comment!

Roughly around 1,300 security personnel are expected to be deployed all over Zamboanga City for the celebration of the Zamboanga Hermosa Festival in October. Acting City Police Director, PSSupt. Neri Vincent [...] Read more


27 Sep 2017 Hits:171 Be the first to comment!

Este istoria ya revela canaton el coach Ednie Morones del dos teams que ya gana na torneo reciente lang ,el varsity team del Baby Bulldogs ya gana na torneo del [...] Read more


25 Sep 2017 Hits:202 Be the first to comment!

Este si Jowie J. Natak , 44 años de edad , 5’ 9 el altor , anak di Nasal Natak y Remedios Jamie Natak que ta esta na Malayal Sibuco [...] Read more


24 Sep 2017 Hits:169 Be the first to comment!

Este el istoria porcaosa del nuevo posicion que ya dale con Rev. Fr. Jonathan Duka y Omar Bowon, el dos cabesa pensante, que ya delega canila cuando ya atende sila [...] Read more