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P-Noy’s KKK


While it can be said that former First Lady Imelda Marcos had her “Blue Ladies” during her heydays, President Benigno “P-Noy” Aquino III has his KKK or “Kabarilan, Kaklase, and Kaibigan” (Shooting buddies, Classmates, and Cronies). Yes, behind every powerful man or woman is a retinue of sycophants. Now, don’t get me wrong but sycophants, psychopaths, and elephants are three different animals.

Virginia Torres, one of P-Noy’s “kabarilan” is back at her job as Administrator of the Land Transportation Office (LTO) after P-Noy told her to take a 60-day leave of absence while she was under investigation on the Stradcom controversy. Well, she was “cleared” of any malfeasance… by default; that is, no administrative case was filed against her during her 60-day “vacation with pay.” Iba na talaga ang untouchable, ano?

Meanwhile, Justice Secretary Leila de Lima is taking shooting lessons from P-Noy. I guess that makes her a “shooting buddy” apprentice. Asked what she thinks of P-Noy as her shooting teacher, she said, “He's a very good teacher! Very strict, and he's a very good shooter, too.” I hope she wouldn’t dare challenge her nemesis Sen. Ping Lacson to a shooting match. Ping is the kind of shooter who shoots first and asks questions later.

Yellow Army… With the Chinese sending their warships to the Spratlys, P-Noy can only rely on his Yellow Army to stop the Chinese invasion. But with the Philippine Navy having only one World War II-vintage frigate, he needs a large fleet to transport his Yellow Army to battle with the Chinese. Perhaps he should ask ex-prez Gloria Macapagal Arroyo to help him build a flotilla of unsinkable “bankang papel” (paper boats). But should P-Noy trust Gloria? Ask Erap.

Pain in the neck… The other day, when Gloria arrived from Hong Kong with hubby Mike, she was rushed to St. Luke’s Hospital for a severe neck pain. She was discharged after a few days later sporting a neck brace. Seems like Karmic law has finally caught up with Gloria. After being a pain in the neck of the people for nine years, it’s her turn to suffer. Yup, what goes around comes around your neck. Aray!

Nobody knows what caused her severe neck pain but I hope it was not due to attempted strangulation from the NBN/ZTE Chinese contractor who allegedly gave her a non-refundable $40 million advance money… or as some people call it, “lagay” or “tongpat.” Chinese businessmen are known for their shrewdness and after the NBN/ZTE contract was cancelled, they’d want their money back… assuming that they did indeed give Gloria the “advance money.” If they did, sorry na lang sila. As they say, “A sucker is born every minute,” and Pinas is teeming with suckees.

Heroes… During the commemoration of the 150th birthday anniversary of national hero Dr. Jose P. Rizal in Calamba, Laguna, P-Noy encouraged every Filipino to be a hero in his or her own little way. I guess he took exception of the late dictator Ferdinand E. Marcos whom he denied a hero’s burial at the Libingan ng mga Bayani. “Not during my watch,” he said the day before. So if anybody wants to be heroic, just do it but not under P-Noy’s watch.

The latest issue on the Marcos burial is whether to bury his remains with “full military honors” or not? And P-Noy has been agonizing over it. But what is strangely odd is nobody has defined what “full military honors” exactly means. Do they mean a five-kilometer long military contingent representing all units of the Armed Forces of the Philippines parading in final tribute to him in his flag-draped casket followed by 21-gun salute? I don’t think so.

What I believe to be “full military honors” is a simple Christian funeral ceremony with the addition of the Philippine flag draped over his casket and to be folded and given to his widow; a bugler playing “Taps”; and a 21-gun salute by seven uniformed soldiers each firing his rifle in the air three times in succession. That is “full military honors” given to every man or woman who served the Philippine military and discharged honorably.

Mr. President, it’s a simple “Yes” or “No.” But for crying out loud, please get over it!

Anti-crime Czar… After several months of chairing the Presidential Anti-Organized Crime Commission (PAOCC), P-Noy signed Executive Order No. 46 turning over the job to his alter ego, Executive Secretary Pacquito “Jojo” Ochoa Jr., also known as “Little President.” EO 46 seeks to strengthen the PAOCC “to substantiate and generate results in the fight to eliminate corrupt practices.”

I hope that Czar Jojo could do a better job than P-Noy in fighting corruption. Makes me wonder if the ownership of the Glass Mansion has already been clarified? If not, Czar Jojo might want to clear his wife’s name that was alleged to be the owner of the Glass Mansion. Yup, Czar Jojo should fight corruption with the passion of Elliot Ness, the untouchable crime fighter during the Capone era. Hey, Czar Jojo is also “untouchable.” So are P-Noy’s “shooting buddies” and cronies.

Obie and Osie… The United States is dropping criminal charges against Osama bin Laden. Why not? He’s already dead and his body dumped in the Indian Ocean. “Not too fast, Obama!” protested a Fil-Am birther from Texas. “Before Obama could drop the charges against Osama, Obama must prove that Osama is indeed dead by producing the original long-form death certificate of Osama,” said the Sarah Palin diehard. Well, without a death certificate, Osama is officially alive. And I thought Pinas is the only one that’s full of pilosopo. Like they say, “Once a pilosopo, always a pilosopo.”

The feisty Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago and her husband, Narciso Santiago, celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary on Rizal’s birthday by renewing their vows. When asked how she felt, she said, “I feel very sexy.” Well, that’s Miriam.

Gracing the occasion was P-Noy who acted as Narciso’s best man and the bridesmaid was actress Heart Evangelista. The entourage included heavyweights like former presidents Gloria Macapagal Arroyo and Joseph “Erap” Estrada, Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile, and former first lady Imelda Marcos.

Conspicuously absent was former president Fidel V. Ramos. According to news report, he was not invited. Hmm…

A glimpse of history… In 1983, P-Noy’s dad, Ninoy Aquino, was assassinated during the Marcos dictatorship. In 1986, Ramos and Juan Ponce Enrile led the People Power revolution that ousted the Marcoses from power and P-Noy’s mother, Cory Aquino, was installed as president. In 1992, Ramos defeated Miriam in a closely contested election. 1n 1998, Erap was elected president. In 2001, a sham people power revolution ousted Erap and then-vice president Gloria was installed. In 2010, P-Noy won in a landslide victory beating Erap who came in second.

Except for Ramos and Cory who passed away in 2009, all of the above characters were present in Miriam’s wedding celebration. The place must be electrifying!

The next presidential election is in 2016. Who do you think will be the top contenders?


By Perry Diaz

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